Sep 17, 2009
Original- Dev.
I always dreamt for you. I choose the colors you loved most, dreamt of them and made you happy. I kept myself in darkness and wept with your tears when you felt bad. Shall I admire you for this long togetherness or feel myself fortunate to be free? I always worked as per your desire and for you; never questioned you until date. Today, at this moment of departure, I have a question will you answer me? If so, please tell me, why did you sell me?
This is the first and probably the last question of last moment. Forgive me, I dared ask you question. But you know? I want to take your emotions and love along with me. Could you bless me with your feelings and love?
“I have no answer to any of your queries and I won’t allow you take away anything from me,” I said.
No sooner I answered him, he handed me a ten rupees note and lost somewhere… I was left in darkness. I had no vision for dreams or reality. I could see no more.
I felt too uneasy, it was too very difficult…. In my mind was the only memory of his truthfulness towards me from early beginning till date. As the present became clear I just felt crying but I could not. I could not even cry without him…. Poor me, I sat there quiet and painful.
But I should not stay this way. I should not grow so numb. He is only a part among five. Other four are yet to approach me. I must be prepared for whatever happens the next. The second part approached me and spoke of all he felt. His voice was enough to describe how upset he was. I wanted to see him but could not. I could not see even myself. Darkness all around, his faint voice pierced my ears. I got up abruptly after listening to him for long. No sooner I got up he asked- Do you not need me? I could not answer him anything else than what I had said to the first one. May be he went away after listening to me.
I stayed in silence till the third part reached me. I didn’t want to be asked anything by him so tried to speak out but he started speaking himself. I tried hard to speak something but could not. Then I realized I could no more speak. My lips were moving, my tong was moving but I had no voice. This realization nearly collapsed me. I was not being able to understand what he was saying because I was concentrated on my own self. After few moments I signed him to keep quiet but he kept on talking. When I signed him to be quiet the second time he was gone.
I waited for the forth part to come. He came and went away, but when? I don’t know. I didn’t see him, I didn’t speak to him, I didn’t hear him. I was feeling that he had spoke something new, something different and interesting. I felt he said more than other three said coz I felt he stayed there longer than they did, I don’t know… I could be wrong. I tried to feel him to know if he came or if he went away and so rose up. What a surprise! I am on space… no land… my hands could not feel anything around… as if I am searching something on space….
I panic, I fear… I tried to run around but it was as though a fur in air. I knew nothing except that I was in my room. I could not find a thing in a room so well furnished. There is nothing in my room. I tried to cry loud, but I was gone mute and dumb. I started crying but could not. I had no tears.
The very time, I smelt a sweet smell. It was so sweet that I forgot everything else, all the pain and fears had gone away. This was the smell that I loved the most. It was as though I was dissolving in the environment the way a drop of color dissolves in water. It was the most wonderful part of my life but it didn’t remain long. The smell lost after a few moments. Probably it was the fifth and last part.
Now I was sure the five parts of me are disconnected from me. They have left far behind.
Now I could sell myself because I have the fifty rupees that my five parts brought after selling themselves. I could reach the place where I could sell myself with this money.
I could not reach there. I knew that I could do nothing after those five parts leave me. So I had thought of publishing a notice before my parts left me. But if I had written the notice, my eyes would have seen them and it would be difficult for him to sell himself. So will have been the case of hands, ears, mouth and… of God! With this fear, I didn’t flash it. Even the air didn’t know it and so my nose could not detect. I didn’t want to see their pain after they get sold along with me. I know it that if they were sold along with me, they would have never forgiven me. And so, I asked them to get sold by themselves. They didn’t accept so easily but finally they did.
They are no more with me. I don’t know where they are. So, I am publishing this notice.
I know I have no existence without my five parts, I worth nothing without them, still I want to sell myself.
Finally, I have only a request- fix my price and buy me if you could or else another notice for someone else to…!!!
